Diary of a twin mother ( my first 2 years of motherhood)

 Hmmmmm! Hello my lovely readers it's been a while. Sometimes I wonder if anyone gets to read my articles but truth be told I think writing is more for me the writer than for the readers . I'm glad I can pour my thoughts on here and relive my memories and emotions while writing. Sometimes we just wanna talk to a paper right? Cuz talking to people who don't understand you could be so draining and exhausting and whewwww ! . See ? All these emotions I don't even know how to put it in words but this is how it felt for me being a mother not just a mother but a mother of 2 for the past 2 years now . OMG ! It just hit me that I have been a mother to 2 most beautiful most amazing girls in the world for 2 years now. I couldn't be more grateful or feel more blessed . I adore my babies with all my heart and soul. They are the best best babies ever . However being a twin mom especially abroad hasn't been easy . It's cone with its ups and downs , highs and lows. Where do I even start . 

Oh right . The effect on me as a woman . You ever felt like your life isn't yours anymore but that of your kids? Like oh I can't drive recklessly I am 2 people's mom now lol. Or I can't go out as I used to or have fun like I used . Or be adventurous ( oh how I love adventures ) as I used to be . All you think about is staying safe for the sake of your kids. Let's not even get started on the physiscal,  mental, emotional change that a woman goes through during pregnancy and after childbirth. But then again how our bodies can bounce back eventhough it takes up to 2 years and even after that you are still not fully back especially emotionally. What I hate most is the hormonal imbalance and yet we are required to still be the ones who have to take hormonal contraceptives . 

The effect on your marriage . Oh this was the most bitter truth to face . New blessings , new additions into our lives definitely came with new challenges, new and more duties and responsibilities,  new and challenging difference in opinions and parenting style . But the problem was finding a balance. When it's just two of you it's easier to make decisions,  to be spontaneous,  but with two little humans depending on you for everything it becomes challenging to agree on what to do . I remember the most difficult of our challenge to be the difficulty of sleep training( atleast to me this was it) . I mean I understood my husband whenever he says " it's ok for kids to cry " you know but does he understand that as their mother it tears my heart into pieces hearing them cry. Please mom's is it just me , was I over reacting to not want sleep training that puts young innocent clueless kids through such torture? Does that make me the bad mom instead ? I thought of him as the bad dad instead for being ok with them crying like this . I thought he was so unempathetic and cruel . Yeah ! These differences in opinions definitely affected us . But one thing is for sure neither of us were or are bad parents . We just had and still have difference in opinions and parenting styles . We just had a had time finding a common ground and to be honest we still do . We are figuring out this parenthood thingy one day at a time . I still wouldn't want to do it with anyone else boo. I hope we find our way , not society's ways, not family's way, not necessarily how others have done it but how we want to do it . I know we can and I know we will. 

The effect on us 4 as a family due to outer pressure from external family/friends/relatives . This one is something I think we all go through and will be going through for the rest of our lives. You know when I met my besty and now husband ( I still can't even call him husband I hope we remain besties and lovers cuz the unrealistic expectations that come from family and society because of these titles husband and wife is so sickening and exhausting . This is something we didn't face or dealt with when it was just two of us . But once the babies came naturally we needed help from family , friends and love ones . But OH MY OH MY ! The millions of different advises based on people's experiences and their own era and time they raised their own kids just wouldn't stop coming in. I have this principle in life where I belive and still do that " whatever decisions we make in life we ought to take responsibilities for the consequences " . Having kids was a decision my boo and I made together so we both are responsible for giving our kids the best and for taking care of them being it financially , physiscally,  emotionally or psychologically . But once family started helping , we heard things like " men don't take care of kids ,  other women wake up at 4am to get their kids ready and prepare food for husband , you are too childish , fathers do this , mothers have to be strong , you are to soft" .  But yes in this 21st century we still hear things like this and it's even more painful when these ideas are spoken to your partner and he or she agrees to them and starts saying them to you or starts comparing you to others. The comparisons oh God the comparisons I hate . But yeah we had our fair share and I most especially as the mother had my fair share . This has definitely been another one the most difficult challenge for me as a mother . Just filtering out others opinions and unsolicited advices and old ideas.  We are still fighting this battle. Ofcourse they weren't all bad advices and ideas.  Some have been and are still the best we got so far. I can't lie but my babies grand mothers both have been of great help to us raising our kids. Don't know how I would have made it through without their ideas and advice.  I bless them and thank them sincerely . 

My lovely readers even though I feel like this article is more for me my future self and any mother out there who is figuring it out like me . Being a mother is like being on roller coaster ride.  I thread it but I love the rush and screams and feels and scare and joy and everything that comes with the ride. It's a journey that is teaching me resistance , authenticity , strength,  chaos , peace , empathy , kindness yet at thesame time readiness to do anything for my 2 mini me's.  But being a twin mom 🙂, being a twin mom is the best best gift I could ever recieve . It's taught me that all the strength,  kindness, love , peace , chaos,  empathy , pain , joy, misery , adventure and more I can face as a mother will always be double for me 😍🙂. This can be scary and exciting at thesame time i mean I wouldn't wanna mess with a mom who is furious when their child gets hurt.  So imagine messing with a twin mom then . The fury will he double ( I knowww 🤭) . This also means the love that floweth from within will be double . See? Like I said a roller coaster ride it is.  This is what makes me enjoy this twin motherhood journey . I am so grateful and humbled that while God gifted mothers the strength to care for their kids He gave me double . That while he gave us mothers fury to fight for our babies he gave me double. I bless every mother out there who is on this ride and journey , you rock . Enjoy your ride . May your diary of motherhood be yours and not what the world thinks or pressures you to make it be . 

Live and love the pain , the joy and everything it brings with it . It's a new and a forever adventure we might as well enjoy it 😉.  I definitely will be savoring mine 🍻.  

Cheers to 2 years of motherhood and forever to go 🍻.  Happy birthday to my new besties , my absolute BFFs for life . Oh yes my boo aka Chickito and I know he is no longer my besty . That position has now been occupied by my dynamic duo 😂 . To the best babies and loves of my life , my daughters happy birthday, I love and adore you two 💜 🩷. 

I used to think my chickito was my favorite gift from God untill I met my babies 🤭.  

HBD 🎂 mama's minis and Besties for life. Even if you both grow up and have your own besties you will always be mama's BFFs.  Oh I will be that petty mom 😅😂. Love you both my beloved Graces 👑 👑 . I bless you both , I declare God's Grace and favour upon you both always 🙏.  

                           2 YEARS OLD  💛💛 

US AT 1 YEAR OLD 💜💜